'Twas the night before finals, and all through Oxford

Not a creature was stirring, not even a bird;

The students were in cubbies trembling with fear,

In the hopes that exams would soon disappear;

The seniors were nestled all snuggled up in their beds;

While visions of Christmas parties danced in their heads;

And my roommates in sweats and I in my jammies,

Had just settled in for a nice Christmas sammy,

When out on the lawn arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the concrete on the sidewalk below,

Illuminated the problem giving them a glow,

There on the lawn what did I see,

But a frat boy with an ice staring back at me,

With a sweater so tacky and ugly but festive,

I knew in a moment he must not be fully invested.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Hey, Smith! What’s up dude! And Z Baby too!

Oh hey, bro! What’s good?

To Skybox! To CJ’s to chill!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

I returned to my chair laughing and shaking,

Knowing that by now, they all should be quaking

With fear about finals, just around the corner

The essays, the test questions, oh the torture!

I looked to my roommates with tears in my eyes,

I don’t think I can study anymore, I think I will die,

The books and the papers, they’re making my head ache,

Why oh why did I make this mistake?

Back to the library I ran with great speed,

Time to learn the knowledge that I would need,

As I began to cram, a thought ran through my head

“Happy finals week to all, and to all a good curve.