Don’t lie. As soon as you saw that, you thought of someone. Maybe it took a second to creep into your brain, or maybe his face flashed in your mind immediately. 

Regardless, there is someone. It may be a recent ex, someone from junior year of high school, or that boy you dated in your head and maybe booty called one (multiple) time. 

Despite who this person (creature) may be, he continues to plague you to this day. He lurks around the edges of your thoughts, always preparing to strike. That guy in your calc class has blonde hair too? Bam. The guy who delivered your pizza has freckles as well? Your Sociology professor wears the same Nike tennis shoes? Oh that boy walks similarly? Bam, Bam, Bam. That boy is leaving Blake Hall? Damn, he lived there too.             

My friends, I'm here to tell you today that this boy (notice I didn’t say man, nobody who treated you like that is a man) is not worth another thought. It's time to say Adios.             

First things first, stop stalking. I know you have his Instagram pulled up on your phone as we read this. If you cant bring yourself to unfollow him, at least stop liking his pictures. Nothing says desperate like double-tapping his picture 45 seconds after it goes up. (Trust me, I’ve been there.) I know you think his tweets are humorous and charming, but take a step back. Do you really care about his opinion on the Saints game? Or his ramblings about how much he loves Hungry Howies? (Hint: it’s more than you) Unfollow his sorry ass...and maybe block him so he won’t be able to read your bitter subtweets anymore.             

On that note: stop it. I know from firsthand experience that being the bitter witch is always a good time. You have your friends who let you mope and complain and wait patiently while you treat others horribly. And you have your friends who buy you drinks to make you feel better every Thursday.             

I’m going to challenge you bitter people to change that. Turn your frown upside down and show that monster how freakin delighted you are to be alone. Go out with your friends and have the time of your life. Do not even think about him. You are a fabulous human being. You are a strong, independent woman who will rip out boys’ hearts and laugh in their faces. (Harsh, I know.) Hell, you can even buy your own drinks. Or you can take a page from my playbook and pretend like you’re going to buy them and then watch as Prince Charming opens his wallet and saves the day.             

You do not need a boy to complete you. Forget the fool who wronged you and make him understand just how wrong he was. I’m challenging you to stand up from the wreckage that you think is your life and move on. You can do it sista.