- “Target is a holy institution.”
- “A friend with a minivan is a friend for life. Or at least for as long as it takes for me to get my own minivan.”
- “Sweatpants are a fashion statement.”
- “A granola bar and a cup of coffee is a perfectly balanced breakfast.”
- “I should carry more Goldfish crackers and Cheerios in my bag.”
- “Juice boxes are a great invention. Wine juice boxes would be even better.”
- “I’m a genius. Get a wine juice box patent, now.”
- “I should start couponing.”
- “I don’t have time to start couponing.”
- “How does anyone have time to start couponing?”
- “If I wear enough scented lotion, maybe no one will notice I forgot to take a shower yesterday.”
- “Why is there no hand sanitizer here? I don’t have time for soap. Where is the hand sanitizer?”
- “I should keep more Wet-Wipes on hand. Everything is much stickier than I expected.”
- “Why is everything so expensive? I’m going to another store. These granola bars are just too expensive.”
- “I should try Zumba.”
- “Actually, Zumba looks too hard. I’ll just stick to power walking.”
- “I’m going to start supporting small businesses.”
- “There’s a new Starbucks on campus?”
- “I’m going to start supporting small businesses, tomorrow.”
- “Could I hold a dinner party in my dorm?”
- “I have a microwave. I have plates. I could totally do a dinner party.”
- “Shoot. I don’t have scented candles. Scratch that idea. Dinner party is a bust.”
- “I need more Tupperware. The lack of Tupperware in my life is disturbing.”
- “Fanny packs are coming back in style. I saw a thing on Buzzfeed. They’re definitely back in style.”
- “If I decorate my door for every major holiday, no one will know that my dorm is a mess.”
- “If I decorate all my binders really nicely, no one will know that I don’t actually take notes in class.”
- “If I decorate the inside of my car according to the seasons that might be overkill.”
- “But seasonal bumper stickers won’t be!”
- “This Christmas, everyone is getting handmade gifts. I’ve got my Christmas crafting Pinterest ready to go.”
- “People still like potpourri, right? Glitter pine cones? Screw it. I’ll just bake something.”
Student LifeSep 23, 2015
30 College Student Thoughts That Prove They're Actually Suburban Moms
It's not that big of a stretch
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