One of the greatest parts about being in Greek life is having the opportunity to experience new things with a wide range of diverse and interesting individuals. For some of us, the novelty that Greek life presents is gratifying in and of itself. I know that back in high school I would never have made the effort to do community service, help out with a philanthropic event or ever really hold a leadership position that could make an impact greater than my immediate social circle.

That’s only half the story though. While all those things are fine and dandy, the people who you spend that time with will no doubt play a role in how you experience whatever situation you both find yourselves in. With so many different personalities to interact with it’s hard not to get bored.

In almost four years of co-mingling with the Greek system, I’ve observed and interacted with just about any type of person you can find on this campus.

What makes the Greek community more interesting is the overlap one finds in the personalities of different houses, and the frequency with which they appear.

I come to you today to pay homage (that’s pronounced ‘oh’-‘maj’) to the types of people all of us come to enjoy at the end of our college stay.

*Caution – the names and descriptions you are about to read are overly generalized and intended for satirical purposes only; any feelings of likeness are unintended and purely coincidental*

The Creature: This individual usually ascribes his or herself by just mentioning their name. When something unexpected, or weird or unexplainable happens someone always speculates as to the creature’s involvement in the matter. This individual is synonymous with one or more of the following: elusive, unassuming, reserved, erratic, unpredictable, beastly/animalistic, and territorial (and occasionally, unhygienic).

The Do Gooder: This individual was bred by hard work and determination, and conceived with a good spirit and ‘can-do’ attitude. There’s no opportunity he or she misses to make good out of any situation. Their sprightly disposition and commitment to chapter functions is noble, well founded, and almost always in the best interest of the chapter. Maybe that’s why you find it inextricably imperative that the individual have a word quota that he or she can’t go over during chapter events and meetings.

The Recluse AKA Pre-Med AKA Engineering AKA Double-Major AKA Two-Jobs-Full-Time-Student: School is important. Getting good grades is important. That’s why these individuals take class so seriously. The only time you will see this person come around is when they’ve been blessed with the only off week of their semester (after having at least one midterm every week for the previous month, and having one per week for the following month). Doubtless this person will be better off when they get out of college, but their commitment to school seems a bit obsessive at times, which can be confused with an eclectic disposition.

The Schemer: There is a person in your house that thinks all the time. Their thoughts don’t necessarily need to be good. They just think. They think of activities for the house, improvements to the facilities, how to make a quick buck, getting together a team of some sort, writing up business proposals, etc. It is very rare that you see this one without any sort of side-project underway, if not already in the works. They possess the entrepreneurial spirit you know will make them successful at some point in their life.

The Leader: This person is the Greek poster boy (or girl). The one the university and his or her national chapter wished was representative of the whole chapter. Destined to lead by example, having been setup in their younger years, this is someone who the rest of the chapter generally (and sometimes indirectly) looks to for support and guidance. Usually serving as some cabinet position, his or her decisions may not always be the popular one, but it is usually in the best interest of the house. Different than the Do Gooder because this is someone everyone generally reveres and respects. The Do Gooder is really just a pain in the neck…

The Hopeless Romantic: Indeed. You would be surprised how many self-proclaimed ‘frat stars’ are really just in want of somebody to spend time with. Despite a near impenetrable veneer, inside lies a delicate and fragile individual. Although, at other times it’s quite the contrary. Sometimes this person wears their heart on their sleeve, which can be a good thing granted you’re not with a new potential love interest every week (because then it becomes obvious you’re not looking for romance).

The Sloth: This individual seems to think that he is impervious to all official business, be it in his or her chapter obligations or in his or her personal life. Different from the creature, because although both are prone to neglectfulness, the creature ultimately doesn’t know he or she is being neglectful. The Sloth is most characterized by apathy, which will eventually catch up with them at some later point in time, like death by unimaginably slow quicksand.

The Instigator: This one always seems to have a problem with something. Even if nothing is wrong, the instigator will create issues out of seemingly nothing. So strong is his or her devotion to the myth that they would wholeheartedly defend it (physically) to their dying breath.  Not necessarily a liar per se; an obnoxious fibber more than anything.

Let it be known that this is not a complete list. The titles and descriptions detailed previously are attributes I’ve assigned to the various personalities I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with, living both in the house and out of it. ASGF.