If you are like the rest of us seniors, the imminent reality of graduating is already depressing the hell out of you. It’s not inaccurate to deem this crippling time as a midlife crisis; the bleak realization that your life is halfway over.
Although many are quick to judge the dewy-faced freshman for being so green, I have to admit I am incredibly jealous they have four years left on this amazing campus. So, how does a typical person going through a midlife crisis cope? They do anything they can to make themselves feel young again. Here are some quick fixes for the senior blues.
Embrace the “orange-bagger” styleThese freshies are affectionately named for sporting their signature no-cost attire: drawstring bag they brought back from registration months ago, orange shirt with “Hail to the Orange” lyrics from orientation, and free iBook from the Union Bookstore readily on-hand. For added effect, walk on the bike paths and frequently ask for directions.
Follow a tour
Act genuinely amazed at your guide's backward-walking skills. Make frequent comments about the high density of squirrels on the quad. Maybe you will actually learn something new about the
Use a fake
It is often said getting drunk loses its luster when you can do it legally.
Schedule an 8 AM
This one is for the daring. But if you want to feel young, you have to be dedicated to the cause.
Don’t go to said 8 AM
No one is really that dedicated. How is it even possible to function before 9 AM in college? Thank God for Blackboard.
Actually go to a football game
Sit in the student section long enough to sing the Three-In-One, then go back to the tailgate when the game becomes too painful to watch. Find comfort in Natty Lite.
Stay a night in the dorms
Nothing will bring back freshman year memories like shower shoes, dining hall food, and sleeping in a too-small room with a complete stranger.
Sit in on a Chem 101 lecture
This will be especially nostalgic when you realize you still have no idea what is going on.
Reminisce
You’ve been in the presence of green Alma, lived through the semester of 21-only KAMS, and trekked to class in -30 degree wind chill. Although you can recreate what it feels like to be a freshman again, nothing beats your own unique experience here.