Dear Worst “Best” Friend,

It’s a funny phrase to string together, “worst best friend,” and the concept of being a terrible best friend is utterly ironic. However, you were exceptionally well at being the type of “best” friend I will never aspire to be or have. The definition of best friend is a person who one values above other friends in their lives. I valued you and not only did I once consider you my best friend, but I also once considered you to be my person. So what happened?

You showed me your true colors, that’s what happened. News flash: your true colors were not ones that I wanted on my color spectrum. Betrayal after betrayal and lie after lie, I continued to give you the benefit of the doubt and hope that you would not only change. I hoped that you could see the pain that I was feeling every time you royally screwed me over. You didn’t though. You took advantage of me, our mutual friends, and even my family. The worst part is, to this day, I still don’t think you completely learned your lesson, and for that I truly feel sorry for you.

What’s interesting is that in every story that you tell people about us and all of the things that happened, you make me seem like the bad guy. In reality, I, along with many other people, were the victims to your selfish games. You’re a manipulative person who unfortunately I confided in, so you’re a manipulative person who also knew all of my secrets.

It’s been a very long time since we’ve last spoken, and although I hate to admit it, I am not completely healed from what you did to me and what you put me through. Honestly, I don’t think I ever will be. Since I cut you, as well as other negative influences, out of my life I have become a much happier person, and more importantly, a person who is aware of who I open up to and who I decide to befriend. For that, I thank you, because you gave me a prime representation of a person I never want to be friends with.

There will always be a part of me that will resent you, not because I want to, but because you changed me. I went from a person who used to trust too much to a person who doesn’t trust enough. I now question everything my friends tell me because I’m so used to the lies that would fall out of your mouth without any hesitation. I have also let wonderful friendships go because I’m afraid to get too attached to people, because if they leave me or do any of the things that you did to me, I’m going to be left with a crater sized hole in my heart once again.

You taught me what a toxic relationship is, and my only regret is not being able to see it sooner. I don’t hate you but I don’t like you either, in fact I really feel nothing towards you. You and your childish games are irrelevant to me now because I’ve grown up and I’ve found myself and who I want to be. You haven’t.

When I look back at our friendship I remember the good times, but they’re often clouded by all of the pain and torture you put me through. In the end, thank you for teaching me a life lesson on the people I choose to surround myself with, and if you’re reading this, the one thing I hope you get out of this is how badly you hurt so many people due to the fulfillment of your own agenda and how your actions have seriously affected so many of those who deemed closest to you. You’ve lost great friends simply due to the fact that you don’t know how to be a friend, and I don’t feel bad for you because you knew what you were doing.