I wouldn't say I’m a fashionista by any means. In fact, I might be the farthest thing from it.
On a good day, I roll out of bed 20 minutes before I have to get to my destination, run a straightening iron through my hair (if I'm in the mood), throw on some norts and a t-shirt and head out. This is what I like to call my own version of everyday fashion. I completely understand that others take more time to consider their appearance—what they'll be wearing throughout the day—and there's nothing wrong with that either. They're the type of people who follow the latest styles and buy the trendiest brands. I slightly envy these people because, no matter what, they always seem to look good. Well, almost always.
There are some trends that have popped up in recent months that I want to take the time to address. I’m not sure if it’s the summer heat that’s affecting our mental clarity, or if in 2015 we have to simply do less. Whatever it might be, these style trends have got to go.
The Half-Up Top Bun.
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, oh nope it’s just that weird little bump on the back of you head. Did you start to style your hair and then just forget to finish? This trend really confuses me. I can kind of get the whole "casual chic" thing but either way it looks pretty awful (sorry hipsters). It’s like you have two totally different hairstyles going on at one time. Pick one or the other.
Dad Sandals.
I’m talking Teva’s, Birkenstocks, and basically anything else that incorporates Velcro in any way. Why would anyone in their right mind purposely wear these hideous creations? Beats me. Yet, I continue to see more and more of them. Unless you plan on manning the grill at the next neighborhood BBQ or hosting a Cub Scout camping trip sometime soon, you should probably just stick to flip flops. Unless you're a dude. Which brings me to my next trend…
Guys who wear Flip Flops.
In the words of DMX, “Thugs don’t do flip flops.” And it’s true. Every time I see a guy wearing flip flops, I’m pretty sure a small piece of my soul dies. I get it, it’s summer aka hot outside but have some decency. Nobody wants to see your hairy man toes popping out of a pair of neon yellow flops. It’s visually disturbing. Opt instead for some stylish sneakers or even boat shoes to keep your feet looking snazzy during the summer months.
Granny Hair
Okay so I have to admit I actually loved this trend when I first saw it done. But now, not so much. While silver hair may give off a futuristic or almost mystical feel, it also makes you look like a grandmother. It's also extremely hard to maintain in the summer months because the gray attracts everything from chlorine to unwanted colors from your favorite shampoos, which is why most people end up rocking spotty grey mops on top of their heads. Not cute. Stick to more natural shades and leave the grey for the grannies.
Space Babe Grunge
Elaborate dip dyed ends, black choker, round sunglasses straight from Willy Wonka's, and tie dyed tanks. This trend combines 80s summer style with futuristic hippie elements, which makes for a really weird combination that I’m not even sure I fully comprehend. Can we please just not?
Crazy Geometric Bikinis.
Ever since the iconic Triangl bikini debuted, geometric design patterns have been flying off the shelves. Lately, I've been seeing crazier and crazier designs, like the one above (which is a best seller). I'm sorry, but stop turning your body into my high school geometry homework. Unless, of course, you like to look as if your belly button is trapped inside some sort of weird trapezoid cage. Don't even get me started on the tan lines. You can most certainly kiss those summer crop tops goodbye.
So whether you’re thinking about going Grannie or possibly even rocking a pair of dad flops this summer, maybe you should think twice. These styles are (hopefully) on their way out but are sure to be greeted with even more outrageous trends in future months. Or, you could be like me, and just wear t-shirts and norts for the rest of your life. Trust me, you wont regret it.