After three classes, two student org meetings, one five-hour study session at the library, and a Midnight Cookie too many, I need this workout right now. I’ve been looking forward to it all day: 90 precious minutes of channeling all my stress into burning calories and kicking ass. The gym is a second home to me—but it’s also home to thousands of other students, many of which are male. And I mean many.

Boys, I acknowledge and admire your commitment to health and a rockin’ bod, but I’m here for the same reasons. I know we have our differences when it comes to exercise, but please hear me out, and we can create a well-balanced gym environment where we both can get them #gainz.

Share the damn machines.

Please. I promise you that I can handle the physical challenges each piece of equipment presents, otherwise I would not use it. I’m fine with waiting for you to finish using the leg press…until you start alternating with your two workout buddies…and now you’re having a conversation, but you keep one hand on the machine to make sure nobody uses it…and now you’re texting…and 20 minutes later, I’ve given up. Keep it timely, fellas.

I’ve had plenty of experiences in which I’ve been using a machine for less than three minutes when suddenly a musclehead starts looming over my shoulder, audibly grunting to signify his presence. Sorry, boys, but no amount of intimidation is going to shorten my set.

When the weight room gets too clogged, it’s only logical to take a cardio break, right? Well, you take up those machines, too—for at least 45 minutes. That’s not even conducive to building the amount of muscle you’re trying to achieve, especially when you’re about to lift for two hours immediately afterwards. You could have had Chick-fil-A for breakfast, Chipotle for lunch, and Relish for dinner, and you’ll probably still have eight-pack abs at the end of the day. Let a girl get her run in, too.

Stop staring.

This is just gross. I’m here to work out, just like you, and I do not stop what I’m doing just to blankly gaze as you bench 250. The gym is a selfish place—I totally just saw you sneaking a selfie in front of the mirror flexing with that 75-pound dumbbell—so act selfishly and concentrate on you!

Respect me and yourself enough to stop staring at my pelvic region as I slowly squeeze my thighs together on the hip adductor, or ogle at my glutes as I lower into the sumo squat holding two dumbbells in between my legs. Unintentionally suggestive? Probably. Will I stop performing these exercises? Never.

I’m used to the gawking: my YMCA at home was frequented by elderly men who had no shame in literally turning off their treadmill to watch a teenage girl do squats. At least the current perpetrators are within a reasonable age range, though they aren’t much better (or less obvious).

Don’t try to talk to me.

I came to the gym without makeup, a support bra, and a shower. I couldn’t make myself less appealing if I tried. If my appearance doesn’t scream, “Don’t talk to me, I’m in the zone right now,” then my obvious focus should (not to mention the deafening volume of my headphones). So please, don’t tap me on the shoulder mid-rep asking me if I went to your high school. Maybe if the building was burning down around us or Bey surprise-dropped a new album at that moment, I’d let it slide, but otherwise, there’s probably not a good reason to interrupt a workout.

Of course, sometimes verbal communication is required to efficiently work out. I tend to stick to, Hey! Are you done with this machine? Awesome, I’m gonna take it then. Please do not talk to me for the remainder of my time here. The last part is implied, as I usually pair this statement with an intimidating stank face.

I know you guys love to work out, and so do I. So, let’s make the most of our shared passion and respect each other. I can’t speak for every woman, but the gym is the one place I can be alone, productive, and (however briefly) worry-free, and I plan on spending quite a lot of time here over the next four years of school. If you just let me have these appeals, I promise I won’t ever mention your ridiculous protein shakes again.