The table is set. The place-mats match, and the decorations are just as beautiful as you remembered. Cookies are baking, and the sweet smell of the holidays fills your house. The colors seem richer, and your spirit is a little brighter. You just can't wait to give your mom that present you bought for her back in July. Everything is almost perfect. Almost.

The holidays would be absolutely perfect, but you're missing someone who made you feel at home. Whether it's a deceased family member or just a loved one, missing them on the holidays is a special kind of pain; a pain you wouldn't wish on anyone. They're that missing puzzle piece that could truly complete your holidays, and often times the only thing you truly asked for.

Growing up, my family has always been pretty big on tradition. We celebrate Christmas so we always all ate dinner together on Christmas eve. When I was young and so naive, I never realized just how special these traditions would be to me when I got older. The year my grandmother passed away I felt hopeless for the holidays, as we always gathered at her house. What would I miss the most about her at the holidays? Her wrapping? Her culinary skills? The candy canes on her Christmas tree?

The truth is, I still to this day can't name just one thing I miss about her. It's just her. And I'm sure you feel this way too.

My best advice for anyone struggling with the absence of a loved one on the holidays is to keep their traditions alive when you celebrate. Though the pain of them not being around is bad, I feel confident that they would want you to celebrate such a special time. Do something special in honor of them. The best way to honor them, is to not forget about them. Don't pretend they never existed. A good way to do this would be to go around the table and say your best memory of them, the best present they ever gave you for the holidays, etc. It may seem cheesy, but I promise it will make you feel better.

Keep their spirit alive. If they had a giving spirit, try giving something to someone else in honor of them. Volunteer because you know they don't have the opportunity to. Buy someone coffee in honor of them. Savor every bite of their favorite dessert, and sing their favorite holiday song a little louder this year.

Just as you remember them, remember to love your family as much as you possibly can during the holidays. Love them all the time, but especially during times when you can all be together and celebrate something important to you. While you're remembering the deceased, remember the ones who are with you while you still have that chance. Keep their spirits alive, as well as yours. It's the most wonderful time of the year, and you should take advantage of it.