Dalton Long: Interview with a VT Hipster

Miranda Korschun
Alpha Chi Omega

I met Dalton Long my freshman year at Virginia Tech. The second I got into the Safe Ride van that night I was instantly fascinated by the hipster behind the wheel. After several awkward car rides in which I forced him to talk to me, we became real friends. Ever since, I’ve endured endless conversations in which Dalton unknowingly educates me on the realities of hipster culture.

Q: “Dalton, how do you feel about this article?”

A: “This article is frankly too mainstream for me to have an opinion on the matter.” (He rolls his eyes.)

Q: “So Dalton, you’re a vegan. What all does this mean for you as a college student?”

A: “See everything I want to say, I don’t want you to publish. However, I, unlike you blood mouths, don’t eat meat, animal by-products, and I don’t wear any animal-byproducts (leather, wool, products tested on animals, etc.). Basically if it involved the enslavement of an animal I avoid it.”

Q: “So you drive for Safe Ride. What has been your most memorable experience driving for them?”  

A: “Well, one time a bunch of sorority girls got into the car and by the end of the ride they were chanting my name. That was pretty cool.”

Q: “Are you single Dalton? Looking for love?”

A: “I just want a nice vegan, straight edge girl. Is that too much to ask for?”

Q: “So, would you consider yourself a hipster?”

A: “I’m a weird anti-social kid who doesn’t get along with other people because they ascribe themselves to anthropocentric, speciest ideologies. Big words and no one knows what they mean. So cool. ” Even his sarcasm is hip. “So no, I don’t consider myself a hipster. Just because I dress well and ride a sweet bicycle doesn’t mean I’m a hipster.”

My conversations with Dalton are extremely varied, an upside to having a vegan, hipster best friend. Whether discussing feminist theory (he’s very serious about women’s rights) or mulling over new fashion trends, there is never a dull moment with Dalton. He’s opinionated and challenging. Everyone should have a friend who challenges him or her. It keeps you grounded and aware of your own opinions and ideas.

In his spare time you can find Dalton roaming The Beholder’s Eye comic shop on Main Street, enjoying a soy latte at Bollo’s or riding his fixed gear around campus. He likes to play bike polo on the weekends and is looking for a nice, straight edge girl )with lots of facial piercings and/or tattoos) to spend time with as equals.

Miranda is a sophomore studying studio arts. You may contact her at mkorschu@vt.edu.