Let me start this article by saying that I was not blessed with the sassgene. My Body-Sass-Index is frightfully close to zero.
This list will be helpful if you're like me, as we're about to see a bunch of Disney characters who are well-versed in sassy speech, and we can follow in their fabulous footsteps. If you aren't like me, however, and you do excel at quick, witty remarks, then here's a list of 10 magical lines to add to your well-articulated arsenal:
1. For when he offers his assistance, but it definitely isn't needed.
Megara can handle big ugly centaurs all on her own, just like you can handle all the Ancient Greek bad guys in your life! (or at least, the metaphorical ones!) Because you're a strong, independent damsel who don't need no hero!
2. When she wants to date him, but he doesn't like Disney--
Take it from Miss Poppins-- bad idea.
This also applies when your potential future boss starts to mimic ripping your job advertisement and throwing it into a fireplace.
3. For when he tries to pick a fight.
Leave it to Marie to finish the fight. She's pretty much a master of sass. I guess that's what happens when you grow up with only brothers.
4. For when she just. Isn't. Listening.
Mushu will not be ignored. Be like Mushu.
And then help your best friend save China.
5. When you walk in late--
Shout out to Queen Clarisse Renaldi-- I could probably use this every day of my life.
6. When The Squad bails on you--
Because nothing is scarier than you with a jar of voodoo dolls. Go make them pay.
7. When she doesn't understand why
he's missing all her hints--
Sometimes we could all use a little reminder. Meg's just happened to come from the god of The Underworld.
8. When they think you won't succeed because of your past--
Channel your inner Edna-mode and flat out let them know that they are wrong. Then go succeed!
9. For the one who thought they could break your heart--
And just walk away. That's it. Prince Hans can't hold a candle to you.
Super-savage punch optional.
10. Finally, when in doubt, just call him a word that he won't understand--
Why thank you, Belle! This could definitely come in handy!
I might go try this on Gaston at Walt Disney World...
There you have it! Thanks so much for reading my article! Hopefully now you feel a little more enlightened on how to sass somebody the Disney way!
Have a magical day! Or, as Queen Megara says--