The first semester is over and I’m home now. While at school, I had been often asked how my first semester was going and if I liked Dickinson. Now that I’m home, family members and friends from high school ask all the same questions. Overall, I’m ambivalent about my college experience so far. It definitely did not match my expectations, which came mostly from the portrayal of college in movies and TV. So, here are my reflections on my first semester of college.

First of all, 8:30 a.m. classes are not for me. There is just absolutely no way they work for me and I will never have one again.

Things take time. I came to Dickinson and immediately wanted best friends and community. Some people find that for others it takes longer. I found that focusing on myself was the best thing I could possibly do. As soon as I stopped worrying about making friends, my grades improved and I felt less stressed. Most upperclassman I’ve talked to about making friends said it took time for them to find their group and it didn’t happen first semester.

After taking a gap year, it was really hard to get back into the swing of school. A gap year between high school and college was definitely a great decision, but on a practical level it was unexpectedly hard to come back. I forgot how to do MLA citations. I couldn’t concentrate on homework for more than 30 minutes at a time. I wished I was still on my gap year, or that I could take another one. I finally adjusted to being back at school after about a month.

My first semester was really lonely. I didn’t feel homesick exactly, because I had been away from home for the past year and a half. I did however feel loneliness. It was hard to drop myself into a community where I didn’t know anyone. I felt lonely because there weren’t people I knew who cared about how I was doing or provided the ease of hanging with people you already know. Establishing new friendships takes energy. In most situations up until college there are always people you know around you. Maybe your family moved to a different city and you had to go to a new school, but you still had your family to go home to at the end of the day. I found that I really missed having already established relationships, because they’re just easier.

I experienced a lot of rejection. I was rejected from two dance teams, specialized housing, being a tour guide, and being a wilderness trip leader. It felt crazy to apply and interview and work so hard to get into a school and then be rejected so much once I was there. I asked myself, “Why was I good enough to get into Dickinson, but not be a tour guide for Dickinson?” The reality is that I am good enough, but so is everyone else at Dickinson, and there’s a limited amount of spots for everyone.

I love the learning atmosphere that college provides. I feel excited when my schedule is packed every single day with talks to go to, club meetings, and events. I really feel my brain growing and my thoughts being stimulated. The academic aspect of college is the best I could have ever imagined.

There’s so much to learn. In my first semester I took a class called Politics of Race in Brazil. Before I came to Dickinson, I didn’t even know there were race issues in Brazil, and just two weeks ago I submitted an eight-page paper about those issues. When choosing classes for next semester there were so many more I wanted to take than would fit in my schedule. There’s a lot of information in the world and it’s really exciting for me to delve into that.

Being online is important. I’ve gotten involved in so many things because I read "Dickinson Today" (an online newsletter) for events and announcements and I’m active on Facebook. Through these outlets I’ve heard about talks at The Clarke Forum, open mics, free food, job opportunities, and so on. I’m not a fan of being online a lot, but it’s definitely helpful while in college.

The freshman 15 isn’t inevitable. When I came to Dickinson I was pleasantly surprised to see most students here have a really active lifestyle. Many students are on school or club teams, bike around campus, or go to the gym in their free time. There are so many enticing options to be active whether it’s yoga class, spinning class, intramural basketball, or going on a hike with Outing Club. I found that I am way more active at school than I was at home.

Time management is super important. There are about 20 more clubs that I’d love to participate in that I just don’t have time for. Managing my time effectively is really important to get the most out of my college experience and not fall behind in academics.

The biggest reflection I have on my first semester of college is that self love is really important. It’s important for me to love myself and not compare myself to others because everyone’s experience is different. Some people are homesick, while some struggle with academics, while others are lonely like me. We’re all pretty brave for attending college and dedicating ourselves to learn and grow as people. It’s okay if it’s hard. Having compassion for myself is the difference between a good day and a bad day.

There were a lot of times when I didn’t think I could even make it to the end of the first semester. I wanted to cut my losses and get out as soon as I could. But I found things to make staying worth it, like writing for Odyssey, getting to hear brilliant speakers from around the country speak, and the prospect of studying abroad in Costa Rica. Now, not only did I survive my first semester of college, I am registered for classes next semester and I’ve booked my flight back to Dickinson this January. I’m ready, hopeful, and excited for second semester.