To the girl whose boyfriend cheated on her with me,
Although we have never taken the time to know each other, you have every right to hate me. I caused you a lot of trouble and hurt that no one deserves. The dirty looks and words from you, your friends, and your family are well justified. I’d probably hate me too. I am willing to accept the blame (because obviously he won’t), but please be willing to hear me out… The situation changed me as well.
I’m sorry it happened the way it did, but I’m not sorry for showing you he was unfaithful. Ignorance isn’t always bliss and you deserved to know. Trust me, if it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else. But all in all, please know that I did lose hours upon hours of sleep over it. Although I may have never told you, I am sorry. I’m not sorry because I was embarrassed or because it was the talk of the school. I am genuinely sorry for assisting someone in hurting you the way no one ever wants to hurt. And no matter how much I act like I’m over it, it still haunts me.
There’s no escaping a guilty conscious. The “slut-shaming” doesn’t bother me as much as every time I see you. I think about how it could have been me in your position. I could have been the one to trust him just to be brutally let down.
A painful reality of being the other girl is that cheating affects everyone in the unfortunate incident. Being cheated on obviously changes the way you look at love and relationships. You think twice… or even two million times before trusting in or believing the next guy that comes around because you know what it’s like to be truly hurt. But when a guy is willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, it also disfigures your sense of trust. After you witness all of the things he has said to you, how can you trust that in the future a boy you’re dating won’t say the same things to another girl?
It also doesn’t feel good to be someone’s secret. It messes with your self-esteem maybe as much as being cheated on. Everyone knew how he felt about you because you were dating. However, I just looked like a bad decision. But I would like to believe differently; I would like to think that he liked me too. Deception is a funny thing and it takes a special kind of person to be able to trick two people into thinking they’re so important. Between him telling you, “We don’t talk,” and him telling me, “I promise I’m going to break up with her,” he’s mastered betrayal. He’s lied his way through situations too many times before, and I’m glad you didn’t buy it.
It’s hard to write this article because no one ever likes the “other girl.” She’s the home-wrecker or the slut. She’s inconsiderate and she’s the reason all of us girls don’t trust each other. But at the end of the day, just know that I probably think about it more than you do, so believe me when I say, "I apologize." We both deserve better and together we can only hope he gets what he deserves.
Best Wishes,
The Other Girl