Last week, I had the unique opportunity to go to a Greek Ladders event, a company that brings speakers and career development aide to Greek communities. I walked away with much more than some handouts and a crook in my neck from sitting for two hours--I left with a new perspective. 

Vicki Sandler, the woman who spoke and lead this seminar, made her audience reevaluate their aspirations in order to better align, "who you are with what you do." She shared her three step process to help everyone become their own CEO--"Chief Energy Officer," that is--and tools to help manage their lives. When she first began speaking, I was skeptical--was this worth the next two hours of my life? I had Netflix on pause and my Snuggie right where I left it, I could slip out of here pretty easily and be back in bed. But then, she said something that caught my attention and brought me to the present moment; "We can either be our best friend or our harshest critic. Be the best friend. When we elevate our energy to love, we elevate the levels of love in the world. It all begins with you." 

Vicki began by asking us two simple questions: "What did you do and play with as a little kid and if you could have any superpower what would it be?" I didn't know how it related to the seminar but I wrote down my childhood games--playing make-believe, dress up, and creating elaborate backstories for my Barbies and dolls--and my dream to have the ability to fly at super speed to anywhere I need to go. Without explaining her previous question, she then asked us to write down our best qualities, what others frequently praise us for. After some thought I wrote that I am personable, can adapt to any situation and that I am a creative problem solver. 

Then came the second mind bomb--she asked us if what we did as a child, when no one told us what to invest our time in and did purely for joy, related to the qualities we are often recognized for. As we discussed with those around us, I realized that playing make-believe and dress up translates into my life by allowing me to adapt to different people in various situations and to better understand and accept different walks of life, which in turn makes me more approachable and personable. I am a writer and love to tell stories, always have--that's probably why my Barbies and American Girl Dolls all had dramatic, far-fetched lives filled with adventure and too many plot twists. All of these childhood games that utilize the imagination groomed my mind to think creatively. As for the super power, my desire to get from one place to another quickly by flight comes from a desire to be able to please everyone, to help everyone at once, while also allowing me to feel free and alive. 

Vicki asked us these questions to help us become aware, her first step in the three step process. Aware of our talents and aware of our desires. While there might be something you are talented at, if you do not use that talent in a way that also satisfies your desires, you will not be leading a fulfilling life. Having a job you hate, even if you are successful, does not bring more love into your life. Loving what you do each day does that. Ask yourself the questions Vicki asked me and become aware of your talents and desires. Some other questions to consider are what things/activities drain you of energy and which recharge you?--do you thrive off of routine and ease or are you energized by a fast pace environment, driven by results? Think of your past jobs, be it a volunteer position, a school club position, an internship, or a paying job; what about these jobs gave you the most meaning and purpose? Were you working within a team or independently? Were you surrounded by mostly children, adults, or even animals? Were you behind a desk most of the day or up and moving? Being aware of what type of environment you thrive best in can help you align your talents and desires to be the happiest version of yourself. 

Throughout the seminar, Vicki stressed the importance of our internal energy. She stated that "where your attention goes, your energy flows." People have good intentions when setting goals, but those goals often don't become reality because they focus their attention, and therefore their energy, elsewhere. There are six different "stages" someone can have their energy invested in without even realizing it. They are divided into two categories, "Creation" and "Survival." Creation focuses more on our internal energies and are seen through peace, joy, and love. Survival, on the other hand is seen through fear, guilt and shame and can be seen more clearly in our physical body than our energy. Vicki explained that you can't just get rid of negative energy--it doesn't work that way, that would be too easy. Instead, you need to transform your negative energy--your thoughts and feelings of fear, guilt and shame--into positive energy by having a specific goal in mind and focusing your attention on it so that your energy will follow. Speaking from experience, being in that "survival" stage sometimes feels like it can be never-ending but you can change your attitude and attention despite your circumstances; you can be your own best friend.

Once you are aware of your talents, desires and where your energy lies, you can acknowledge and release resistance to change, Vicki's second phase in becoming your own "CEO." You need to recognize what it is blocking you from reaching your goals. For me, being an extreme "people-person," I want to connect with people. Sometimes, I get overexcited and unintentionally interrupt the person I am trying to connect with. In my mind, I am making an immediate connection by relating my own experience to what they are saying. Unfortunately, this could potentially keep me from forming a connection because I might be perceived as uncaring or rude. I am now actively placing my attention and therefore my energy on being a better listener by physically marking down in my "Notes" app on my phone every time I interrupt someone. Three things that generally hold you back from reaching your potential and fulfilling your goals are ego, the familiar, and others expectations of you. Be aware of these and surround yourself with people who have positive energy and believe in you so you are more likely to succeed. 

Most importantly, as Vicki Sandler says it, "Don't let failure be final." Every "no" is leading you closer and closer to a "yes." By looking at failures in this way, transforming something that can be negative into a positive, you are transforming your energy; in doing so, you are changing your life and the lives of those around you for the better. Vicki explains how pain and fear differ. In today's society, we have such an aversion to pain--if your shoulders aches you get a muscle relaxer; if you can't focus you are given A.D.D. medicine. Vicki counters this and says that some pain is, in fact, good for you. Our bodies and gut reactions are so primal that they will not lie to us; if your shoulders aches maybe it is because you are stressed so you need to deal with what is giving you stress; if you can't focus, maybe you need to find a faster paced environment to work in. Alternatively, fear is an acronym for its meaning--False Expectations Appearing Real. Mark Twain once said, "I had many fears throughout my life that never came true." In order to align our passions and talents, we need to "decatastrophize our fears." When thinking about your fear, ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that could happen?" Then ask, "What is the best thing that could happen?" Be prepared for either outcome so you will have the upper hand on your fear. You can also use meditation to ease your mind and find more peace.

Facing your fears and being at peace with yourself allow you to focus your attention and energy on aligned action, the third and last phase. Vicki quoted an anonymous source: "There'd be no need for country music if all roads led home." Wouldn't it be nice if, when we were born, we came with an instruction manual that told us what our gifts are and how to use them, as well as what our struggles will be and how to avoid or deal with them? If we knew what form our life was meant to take on and what path we should follow, life would be undoubtedly easier. But it would also be boring. The exciting part of not knowing exactly where your life is headed is that everything is your own choice. You can align your talents and desires by visualizing your life in a way that brings the two together; you can even create a vision board to have as a visual reminder! But even more important than visualization is the knowledge that you can create the life you want and then take action to make it happen.

This Sunday, 9/21 is the International Day of Peace, as declared by the United Nations. Vicki Sandler is helping host a google hangout to connect multiple campuses together to make non-financial pledges of peace and for each person to share their interpretation of what peace means. Vicki will be speaking at 12:17 p.m. on 9/21 (very specific time, I know--so be there!) and, having experienced her seminar, I can guarantee it will be a life changing and exceptional experience for you! More details can be found at PeaceOn.Us or you can email Michelle Leipold from the University of North Carolina Asheville at mleipold@unca.edu for more information on Peace Day and how you can become involved.

Now go out there and be the change this world desperately needs!