I am Mexican-American.
Surprisingly, the first time I used that label was in college. I grew up in a very Latino-populated city and was native as to how different the rest of world was. I went to an elementary, middle school and high school with kids who spoke “Spanglish.” Every time I went grocery shopping or to the local movie theater, I was surrounded by Latinos. But as I submitted college applications during my senior year in high school, I noticed that there was a section asking “Are you Hispanic/Latino?” followed by “Regardless of your answer to the prior question, please indicate how you identify yourself.” That’s when I started to think about how I identify myself.
Both of my parents are immigrants from Mexico, which made my first language Spanish. I grew up eating Mexican food, hearing Mexican music, and surrounded by people who were physically similar to me. I am the oldest of three, and grew up in a Spanish-speaking household while learning English in school. It was until my siblings and I had learned enough of the English language that we started to speak that at home. Can you imagine having your kids speak a different language in your own home? That’s what my parents had to experience. Regardless, they were proud that their children were learning the country’s language.
So one might ask: Why do I then label myself as Mexican-American if one of my parents is not American? It’s simple: that label feels right. After all, labels can mean something different to individuals. Born and raised in the U.S., I consider this country influencing who I am today. If I were to go to visit the rest of my family in Mexico, I would be considered “too American.” Sometimes, I can’t pronounce some words in Spanish and have an accent while having conversations with family friends. Physically, I can blend in. Conversely, in the U.S., I am likely seen as “too Mexican.” I wasn’t born in Mexico. In fact, I can only recall two times that I’ve been there to visit. I only know life in Mexico through my parent’s stories and the media.
Why else do I label myself as Mexican-American? I grew up in a neighborhood where kids spoke “Spanglish.” This code-switching form of speech comes from those who combine and overlap Spanish and English. Even now that I am at Allegheny College, I keep using “Spanglish” among my Latina/o friends. I tend to include some Spanish words while conversing with my non-Spanish speaking friends. I’ve also been told I have an accent although I’ve been speaking English since kindergarten. Again, my use of “Spanglish” is why I call myself Mexican-American.
Why not Latina? Being Latina/o means having Latin American descent. Yes, I do have Latin American origins. I like the Latina label but, personally, being Mexican-American for me means embracing both countries. I have had to accept that I am not completely Mexican or American. I am proud of my heritage and of my parents for sacrificing their lives back in their native country. I am also proud of being American and lucky to have the opportunities my parents did not have.
Now that I am in college, I’d like to think that people are open to learning more about my culture. The more I explore outside of my hometown, the more I am proud to embrace my Mexican heritage. That’s just who I learned to be.